So, there we are then: I am over halfway through. I just worked out that today is day 97 of 183, which means only 86 days left… This isn’t entirely unsurprising: I always knew it was going to go by very quickly.
I also realised earlier today that it’s been about a year since I first decided to do this whole thing. It was just after my 33rd birthday and the weather was glorious. I came home from work one normal weekday evening and headed to the beach with Oliver, armed with beer and a salad, to catch some sun before the day was out. I remember sitting there as the sun went down, beer in hand, watching the sea, and feeling sad. It wasn’t an urgent, ‘in your face’ kind of sadness – more of a calm, background-wallpaper type. The kind that is always there even if you’re not immediately aware of it all the time.
For some reason, even though it was a lovely evening and we were making the most of living by the sea with our after-work beach picnic, the sadness decided to come to the surface and made me cry a little bit. I don’t really know why, but it was that moment that made me decide to do something about it. Over the next couple of days I hatched my little plan, and then I started saving up, and now here I am with quite a chunk of my break already behind me!
A few months ago, when I was still working, I reflected on how quickly time can pass, and how easy it is to waste time by feeling guilty over not making the most of it. And even though the period since I wrote that post has evaporated in an instant, it also seems like eons ago that I was in my old job. One of my best and oldest friends wrote to me on my birthday that it seemed like a different Anne was emerging, someone who, in her words, seemed a lot happier than the girl who had decided to hide herself away in an office because she couldn’t do anything else.
Another old friend, whom I chatted to on Skype last week after not having spoken to her for ages, said that it was a bit like I was going through a second adolescence at the moment. This probably in reference to the fact that I finally seem to have discovered the concept of ‘fun’, and maybe that I keep changing my hair all the time. (The two are interrelated of course: there is much fun to be had with hair. Check out my latest do here if you don’t believe me.)
Both are probably right, to some degree. I do feel like quite a different person from the one who cried into her beer on the beach a year ago. Not hiding myself away in an office is definitely a big part of that. So is behaving slightly like a teenager, probably.
I meant to provide some halfway-there wisdoms in this post, which I’ve obviously completely failed at. It might be to do with the fact that I am slightly over-excited about going to Soundwave in Croatia tomorrow and distracted by important activities such as packing my sequinned leggings and painting my toenails. I think I will save the reflections for another post and just give into my second adolescence for the next few days.