Over the past few weeks, I have struggled somewhat with finding a new ‘voice’ for this blog. The thing is, even though I am earning money again and my career break is officially over, it doesn’t quite feel like ‘mission accomplished’ yet, not least because my current freelance contracts will only see me through the next few months or so, after which I will face a renewed challenge to avoid the temping agencies.
Although I haven’t been able to conclusively answer the ‘what do I want to do’ question (can one ever answer that question, and should one expect to?), I am clearer about what is a more enjoyable way to earn a living, sure. I am also (I think) a happier and calmer person as a result of giving up my old career and finding out what else I can do. The only thing I miss about my old job is the money, which is probably a good sign given that money is really not the key to happiness (although it is good for buying shoes).
But, I don’t feel quite ‘done’ yet. Maybe it’s simply a case of needing a more stable and permanent job before I can feel settled – that could well be the case. Freelancing is currently working out for me, but only because I don’t tend to get ill (*quickly touches wood*) and because I have two contracts that give me a certain amount of work at certain rates of pay, meaning I know where I stand and that I have enough income to pay my rent at least. It’s a little more hand to mouth than I’d like at the moment, but that’s mainly because I’m trying to plug a gap from where the end of my savings account didn’t quite meet the beginning of my paid work. But I don’t think I am a freelancer at heart, really.
I have enjoyed writing this blog and found it a useful and beneficial discipline for many reasons. So far this year, I have also managed to stick to weekly posts. But because my weeks are now looking fairly samey, I do often wonder what on earth I should write about. Or, to be more precise, how I can write things that somehow fit within a larger theme, or story – things that somehow fit together logically.
I know a lot of blogs don’t have themes – the whole point of a blog is that it’s a platform for musings, meanderings, miscellany. But because this blog happens to have started off as a Career Break Blog, and that career break is now over, it feels a tad rudderless. I clearly didn’t think through the long-term blog strategy when I started it last year.
So, I think you will all just have to bear with me while I work out how to find a new framework for my weekly posts. It will be a little random – but then, life is pretty random.